New Bible Translation!

Bible_2
Luke 2:1-21

Oh hai, Jesus iz bornd
‘Roun
dis tiyem, Caesar Augustus wuz like, "I can has cenzus?" (‘Coz while Quirinius
was Teh Boz of  Syria, is invisible census!) And all
teh doodz went home for teh saying, "I is heer!" So Joseph went from Naz’reth
to Judeeah to Bethlehemm whar David wuz bornededed, ‘coz David wuz hiz
graete-graete gran-daddie, An Mary went wif him, ‘coz she was gonna be married
wif him an she was preggerz. When wuz time for teh baybee, it wuz a boy, so he
wuz wrapd in blanket like burrito an placd him in fud dish, cuz innkeeper wuz
liek, no room here kthxbye!

Sheep-doodz n Angels
Then there wuz
sheep-doods in teh field, an they wuz watchin teh sheep in teh dark. Iz vry vry
boring. srsly. An suddenly, visible angel! An glory! O noez!! But teh angel
sed, "is ok, you can has gud news for all teh doodz! Todai in da city ov
David, you can has sayvur! is Christ da Lord! w00t! Is sign fer u, find da
baybee wrapd like brrito in a big fud dish." An suddenly, moar angelz! They
sez,  "w00t to teh Ceiling Cat! An peace fer doodz he luffs! Kthxbai."  An
when da angelz go invisible again, sheep-doodz sed, "sweet, nao we find teh
brrito-baybee sayvur!" So dey left da sheeps (sheeps r vry borng) and found
Joe an Mary and da baybee in da fud dish. An when dey saw it wuz baybee an not
brrito, they told evrywun he wuz kewl, An all teh doodz who herd were lyke,
"neat-o brrito!" An Mary wuz lyke, "o rly?" Teh sheep-doodz sed, "Yay fer
Ceiling Cat! Was not invisible brrito!" On dai noomber ate, it wuz tiem 2
circumcize him (iz laik getting fixd) an they called him Jesus, ‘coz teh angel
sed tht wuz hiz name.

http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Luke_2

I am so not cool.  I was totally confused by "kthxbye."  I thought they’d left in some obscure Greek word that I haven’t learned, pronounced something like "kuh THICKS
bee." 

Thanks for Harry Harm for the heads up on this translation!

If you, like me, did not know what a LOLcat was:

Lolcats are images combining photographs of animals, most frequently cats, with a humorous and idiosyncratic caption in broken English referred to as Kitty Pidgin[1] or Kitteh. The meme originated in the 4chan imageboards as the Caturday internet phenomenon.[2] The name "lolcat" is a compound word of "lol" and "cat".[3][4] The phenomenon is also referred to as cat macros.[5] Lolcats are created for photo sharing imageboards and other internet forums. Lolcats are similar to other anthropomorphic animal-based image macros such as the O RLY? owl[6],
and the term is often used as a catchall for not only images depicting
cats, but also animals, humans, and in some cases even the absence of
such creatures.

The term lolcat gained national attention in the United States when it was covered by Time magazine,[7] which wrote that non-commercialized phenomena of the sort are increasingly rare, stating that lolcats have "a distinctly old-school, early 1990s, Usenet
feel to [them]." The superimposed text is assumed to be uttered by the
cat in the photograph. There are parallels between the language used in
lolcats and baby talk, which owners of cats often use when talking to
them.

A lolcat image using the "Im in ur..." format, featuring a cat "editing" the dwarf planet article on Wikipedia

A lolcat image using the "Im in ur…" format, featuring a cat "editing" the dwarf planet article on Wikipedia

These images usually consist of a photo of a cat with a large caption characteristically formatted in an uppercase sans serif font such as Impact or Arial Black.[8] The image is, on occasion, digitally edited for effect. The caption generally acts as a speech balloon encompassing a comment from the cat,
or as a description of the depicted scene. The caption is intentionally
written with deviations from standard English spelling and syntax,[8]
featuring "strangely-conjugated verbs, but [a tendency] to converge to
a new set of rules in spelling and grammar. There are five original
lolcats: Happycat, ceiling cat, monorail cat, bucketwalrus, and kitty
sniper. Most of these lolcats were created by anonymous users at
4chan.org "[9] These altered rules of English have been referred to as a type of pidgin[8] or baby talk.[1] The text parodies the grammar-poor patois stereotypically attributed to Internet slang. Frequently, lolcat captions take the form of snowclones in which nouns and verbs are replaced in a phrase.[1] Some phrases have a known source[10] while others seem to be specific to the lolcat form. Common themes include jokes of the form "Im in ur noun, verb-ing ur related noun."[11] "I has a noun" pictures show a cat in possession of an object while "Invisible noun" show pictures of cats apparently interacting with said invisible object.[11] "My noun,
let me show you it/them" pictures are accompanied by cats apparently
presenting or offering an object. Another common lolcat displays a cat
with a specific look, which is described by adjective, and the text, "[adjective] cat is not [adjective]"[citation needed] or "Your offering pleases [adjective] cat." A version of this is also stated as "adjective cat is not amused",
or "[adjective] cat has run out of [adjective]" (when the cat in
related picture seems to be feeling the opposite of the adjective used
to describe it.)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lolcat

Published by Nora McNamara

Lover of languages and linguistics. Besotted Auntie. Jesus follower. Sacred Harp singer.

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