Heartbroken. That’s a better word than sad about how I feel about my friend not coming to see my life here and share my vacation. Other good words include crestfallen, crushed, desolate, despairing, despondent, disappointed, disconsolate, grief-stricken, grieved, heart-sick, heartbroken, heartsore, inconsolable, miserable, mournful, prostrated, sorrowful, wretched. Amazing how I just couldn’t express myself when the keyboard I was using didn’t type in my heart language.
How much am I blocked from sharing what I think and what I feel when I’m not able to do it in English, even though my French is pretty good? How much more than that are people blocked from connecting with God when they can’t hear his story in their mother tongue?
Ok, I guess it’s worth it. I’ll stay here and keep going. Even though my friend can’t come, and I really miss my family. I mean, after I got the news that Cynthia couldn’t come today, I went out for Chinese food, and nearly burst into tears when I saw chop suey on the menu, because that’s what my dad always orders, no peapods, no mushrooms.